Rating: K+ T
Summary: Takes place after Roxas has left. First attempt at writing akuroku. ^_^ No real plot. Just some sentimental mind thoughts from Roxas' POV. (This went through spell check about 10 times. So if there's ANY spelling errors, please tell me and it will be fixed. Or grammar.)
He's gone. Axel's gone. As in, never coming back. It brings tears to my non-existent eyes knowing that he fought for me while I was ignorant to everything that was going on in Twilight Town. Following some girls voice that seemed slightly familiar to me. His voice sounded familiar too.
I was told we were best friends. By the girl, she told me. I told him but he didn't sound too pleased. He said he guessed we were friends. Like we weren't "really" friends. But just, acquaintances. People that hung out together every once in a while.
During the first time I met him, he told me his name, then we fought. I guess I started that one. It really was my fault that that fight began. And then once I'd defeated him and Diz showed up, him and Diz started yelling at me. They sounded mad. But also, he sounded desperate, sad. Now that I'm thinking about it.
Anyways, I'm going to fast forward time in my memories to the point where Sora had met up with Axel right before Siax showed up; presumably chasing him.
He told Sora his name. Obviously I wasn't really aware of myself at the time. Well, I kind of was, but I kind of wasn't. I saw through Sora's eyes. I thought through Sora's mind. I thought I was Sora. Of course, I was becoming more aware of my own being throughout Sora's entire adventure.
I remember fighting Sora. In a place that seemed just like the place where I-he-got my-his-keyblade. It wasn't anything, really. More like, a strange crash between our minds. That was when he first became mentally aware of me.
More along the line to when...The last time Sora-or me- would see Axel again.
He saved Sora-for me. He saved Sora because he wanted to do it for me. I think he might have had feelings for Sora though. But only because I was part of Sora. He loved the part of Sora that was-is- me. He wanted it to be me. This is all my speculations by the way. He probably didn't even feel anything at all for Sora. Or he could have felt for Sora more than he felt for me.
Felt. Such an amazing word to the organization. None of us would have admitted to actually feeling anything. Unless it was to someone that made us feel like we felt something beside nothing. I'm not making much sense, am I? I'll go back to how I felt about Axel's "death" now.
You see, at the point where Axel was fading, I could tell Sora cared for the nobody. Probably just my feelings spilling over onto him. Maybe because of the fact that Axel had saved Sora by sacrificing himself. I don't think I'll ever know. Ever "really" know.
When Sora had found his friends again, after 2 years was it? I don't know. But it's okay, they don't apply to this part. Sora had made it to the room where all the nobodies tomb stones were. The room that held every one of the organization's member's names, weapons, and titles while within the org. Almost every one of them was blue. Almost, since I believe 2 or 3 were still left standing. They'd be blue soon. Sora would destroy them on his quest. But Axel's...Axel's tomb stone was different.
It wasn't completely blue. It was barely red. It was a mix. A mix of both colors that I indicated to mean his survival. Perhaps I would see him again? I was ecstatic. But then? Then I saw Namine again.
After Axel's "death" she was the only person I could remember having a connection to in the org. The only person I knew that knew what I knew, maybe even better than I do-did.
I turned to her for feelings. Then I merged with Sora.
He had become distinctly aware of me after Riku had told him why org. members had been calling him Roxas. And it's very dangerous to be consciously aware of the nobody inside you. It was for Sora's safety. And Kairi's as well.
But I can still think for myself. I can still see through Sora's eyes. Hear through Sora's ears. And think through Sora's thoughts.
But I'm slowly losing my own consciousness. Slowly losing my own individuality to Sora. I wish Axel was here. Was he still alive? Was he somewhere on a world I-Sora- knew about? Maybe, maybe not. I don't think I'll ever know.
I'm sure Namine is losing herself also. Kairi and Sora don't seem to be too close anymore. There still friends, just not friends that really hang out together.
Riku too. But that's mainly because of Riku's nervousness, and most likely shame, of being around Sora after what he did to him and Kairi.
I really wish Axel was here. Here on Destiny Islands. Or at least if I knew he was okay then I wouldn't be plaguing Sora's own mind with my worries.
I hope I don't lose my own mind to Sora's and completely, fully lose my self 100% to Sora. I hope nothing like that happens to Namine either. We both had lives. We both had talks, and hung out with others we knew.
- Akuroku Drabble